“I met a man called Norman Manly, who’d spent 38 years of his life installing, repairing and cleaning church organs.
He’d have continued in this way had it not been for the rather strange lung disease that he’d contracted by breathing in “accumulated organ dust”
Now “accumulated organ dust” is a rather strange kettle of soup, when put under a microscope it seems to consist of minute particles of skin that have been shed by thousands of parishoners, who over the years come to pray and seek comfort in the church.
It would appear that when people pray something rather bizzare happens….the skin becomes charged with an energy this “energy” has not been officialy, scientificaly discovered yet……
so it has no name, other than “the Energy” as Norman likes to call it.
Well Normans lungs contain millions of skin-cells from church organs the length and breadth of this island…….and each of these cells contains the “Energy”….but each cell is different because some may be shed at weddings
some at funerals …..some at christenings
some are full of song….some are full of sadness
Each cell carries D.N.A.
each cell carries memories
each cell has a prayer attached
So! this Accumulated Organ Dust…..
or “Particles of Faith” as Norman calls them are absorbed through
the wall of his lungs, enter his bloodstream and eventually travel to every part of his body in turn…….
When he sleeps Norman dreams he is a huge rock in the middle of a blood-red desert……
millions of people dressed in white linen
are walking round and round him….
reaching out to touch him….
and when they touch him a glow comes to his surface
that fades as quickly as it forms…..
all the circling people carry feather dusters
with which the stroke the base of the rock
and collect discarded skin-cells and prayers,
rock-dust and more “particles of faith”.
sometimes the experience is so intense
that Norman wakes to find himself ejaculating
with such force that tides on the moon are affected
When this occurs a man from the government collects
Normans soiled sheets, and in a specially
designed centrifuge the nocturnal emission is extracted and sent under armed guard to the Archbishop of Cadbury
to be made into special commemorative Easter eggs.
Norman says they don’t allow him alcohol because it
makes his water shine…..
and instead of urine
he produces rainbows everywhere
which makes the public stop and stare
so next time you see a rainbow
or when you kneel in prayer…..
just remember…! Norman’s skin is everywhere