Norman’s Skin

“I met a man called Norman Manly, who’d spent 38 years of his life installing, repairing and cleaning church organs.

He’d have continued in this way had it not been for the rather strange lung disease that he’d contracted by breathing in “accumulated organ dust”

Now “accumulated organ dust” is a rather strange kettle of soup, when put under a microscope it seems to consist of minute particles of skin that have been shed by thousands of parishoners, who over the years come to pray and seek comfort in the church.

It would appear that when people pray something rather bizzare happens….the skin becomes charged with an energy this “energy” has not been officialy, scientificaly discovered yet……

so it has no name, other than “the Energy” as Norman likes to call it.

Well Normans lungs contain millions of skin-cells from church organs the length and breadth of this island…….and each of these cells contains the “Energy”….but each cell is different because some may be shed at weddings

some at funerals …..some at christenings

some are full of song….some are full of sadness

Each cell carries D.N.A.

each cell carries memories

each cell has a prayer attached

So! this Accumulated Organ Dust…..

or “Particles of Faith” as Norman calls them are absorbed through

the wall of his lungs, enter his bloodstream and eventually travel to every part of his body in turn…….

When he sleeps Norman dreams he is a huge rock in the middle of a blood-red desert……

millions of people dressed in white linen

are walking round and round him….



reaching out to touch him….

and when they touch him a glow comes to his surface

that fades as quickly as it forms…..

all the circling people carry feather dusters

with which the stroke the base of the rock

and collect discarded skin-cells and prayers,

rock-dust and more “particles of faith”.

sometimes the experience is so intense

that Norman wakes to find himself ejaculating

with such force that tides on the moon are affected

When this occurs a man from the government collects

Normans soiled sheets, and in a specially

designed centrifuge the nocturnal emission is extracted and sent under armed guard to the Archbishop of Cadbury

to be made into special commemorative Easter eggs.

Norman says they don’t allow him alcohol because it

makes his water shine…..

and instead of urine

he produces rainbows everywhere

which makes the public stop and stare

so next time you see a rainbow

or when you kneel in prayer…..

just remember…! Norman’s skin is everywhere